Confession: I have an addiction to postsecret.com. For those of you who have never heard of that site before, it was put together by some guy back East. People from all over the world send him anonymous postcards with their secret and he chooses about 20 every week and puts them on his blog. I check that website weekly because I am fascinated with people in general and many times those secrets have a profound impact on my life. Sometimes I even shed a tear when I look at them because I am reminded of all the pain that is in the world and wish there was some way I could track the individuals down to provide encouragement.
So tonight, when I checked my email I was surprised to see that a guy in my ward sent me a link to this website which directed me to a specific post secret. Now, this guy has no idea that I check postsecret regularly (or that I know it exists). What I found most interesting is the post card he felt I should look at. Here it is:
With that link was a short message from him that said, "many people feel your emotions".
The humorous (maybe sad?) part of it all is that if I were to send in a secret it would say,
"Every year I become more intelligent, more beautiful, and more successful... and more unlikely to find a man who will appreciate me without feeling threatened."
Yeah, yeah, I know it sounds bleak and probably a little sour. Blah blah blah. I don't feel hopeless, just a little frustrated. Why would a Mormon man want a driven 30 year old educated Mormon woman with a successful career when he could have an overly fertile 19 year old without a care in the world? Hey if I were man I would probably choose the latter too. It's much safer and requires a lot less work (or so it seems).
Lest you begin to think that this blog entry marks the beginning of countless Friday nights, alone with nothing to do but knit the shroud used to bury my dreams of finding love, know that I am neither fond of knitting or being at home. I love people. I love parties. I love flirting. I LOVE men. And I am beginning to love dating for more than just a free dinner (that's progress, right?)
I am just a little sad to find my secret isn't a secret after all.