Saturday, November 7, 2009

Just when you think you are losing weight...

Let's talk about how not so fun it is to be asked if you are pregnant when you actually aren't. Whether you are married or single, thin or thick, if you aren't pregnant it hurts to be asked if you are expecting or when you are due.

Once, several years ago and 50lbs heavier a little boy at church poked my stomach and asked with a giggle, "Are you pregnant?" My reply? "Nope, just fat but that was nice of you to ask." He said, "Your welcome" and walked away. I walked away too... all the way home at ate 20 donuts, gained 20lbs and then really looked pregnant.

The other time was yesterday. Here I am losing weight (or so I thought) and someone says, "I don't know you very well and I hope I am not crossing the line... but woman to woman, are you pregnant?"

You have no idea how much I wanted to say, "So glad you asked, why yes I am! I am carrying twins squirrels in my double chins. I am going to name them Dumb and Dumber after you."

But I didn't.

And I wish I did.

I just said, "No... why do you ask?" She said with a nervous laugh, "Well, for a few mornings you looked like you were sick, you have been munching on snacks a lot and you have been forgetful lately." I was pretty impressed that she thought of that stuff on the spot. At least she didn't say, "Because I notice you are peeing a lot and your uterus is huge".

I didn't defend myself... just laughed and said, "Yeah" and went back to munching on my apple.

Those few mornings when I look like I was sick? One morning I forgot to put on eyeliner because I was running late. The other morning my hair was frizzy/curly and I was late to work because of traffic... Being late makes me sick... and so does frizzy hair.

I have been munching a lot lately because I never have time to eat breakfast and lunch so I have to eat whenever I can. You eat an apple and yogurt during the day and then everyone thinks you are pregnant.

And, I have been forgetful because... well, truth is I am conveniently and intentionally forgetting all those things I don't want to do... Like talk to nosey people!

Blah. Next time I hear a question prefaced with "woman to woman..." I am just going to interrupt and say, "Yes. Twin squirrels!" and then turn and walk away.

5 comments:

J.lee Hansen said...

I LOVE YOUR POST...Again!

Woman to woman,, like that makes it okay,

You should totally start extremely personal questions and always begin with that phrase and if its a man,,, just say.." From one woman to another man.... Are you pregnant?!

Once my mom told me that we need people like that in our lives,, you know for the WHAT NOT TO DO parts of our lives!

You are awesome!

Aileen said...

Anneliesa your blog looks so cute!!! I love the birds and pears and colors. Your post was hilarious and frustrating at the same time. Why do people say things like that? I had someone say that to me too and it SUCKS. I know you don't look pregnant and never have and you always look like an Angel or Angel your cat... when she's not pregnant.

Sarah and AJ said...

hahahahahaha

Just want you to know that I am about to go to bed, and this was the funniest thing that I encountered all day. Thanks for the laughter. Miss you!

Nicole said...

Some people have A LOT of nerve! What a jerk....you shoud have said, "woman to woman...have you gained weight?"

Jill said...

oh my gosh you are HILARIOUS!!! WHY on earth have I not been following your blog sooner! You are the funniest most entertaining writer! I love that you can laugh at yourself or at least laugh at others who are so rude! I can't believe people ever actually ask that question. That's so taboo!
I'm sure you look awesome. oh and wow can I ever relate to your whole going into the store for teens thing. yeah, doesn't make you feel too great by the time you leave